Christmas - it IS the most wonderful time of the year....even if it doesn't feel like it at times!

It's the most wonderful time of the year.....in SO many ways! But for our little ones from hard backgrounds its just honestly not. At times they struggle in deep and profound ways and I can't even begin to understand the layers of pain within their hearts ~ but we see their pain manifest in hard ways over the holidays. Grief and loss, it all comes up this time of year. This particular year we have the added element of bringing home a new child just weeks before Christmas.

Besides Jesus, we all can say he's hands down our FAVORITE Christmas present ever!!! He's adjusting way better than I could have ever imagined (thanks to the help of an extra chromosome ;) ) and his joy just brims over ~ which helps our other 3 littles that have are having a tougher time this season. His sweetness and gentleness seems to calm them as they sit and play with him :)

Every year as they struggle at this time I try to figure it out ~ do they miss birth parents (which some never knew and others barely remember)? Is it the general feeling of loss they know they've experienced? Is it the early childhood trauma? But the truth is THEY don't even know. Adoption pain is so visceral. So hard to pinpoint.

So this year we're just choosing to roll with it as best we can - no trying to figure it out....no trying to fix it. We are expecting them to have harder moments than usual, we are expecting the meltdowns over seemingly nothing and the fits out of nowhere. We can't change their backgrounds, we can't change their pain......but we can choose to lower our expectations and roll with it better! It doesn't make it any easier or any more fun - but it sets us up to win as a family and sets them up for an opportunity to possibly heal another layer of pain.

Expecting Christmas to be all FUN and our kids to be so THANKFUL and life to be a big PARTY this time of year is unrealistic for all of us! I think of Mary and Joseph ~ that very first Christmas. It was HARD. They were lonely and couldn't even find a decent space to birth the King of the world. Yet our society continues to try and make Christmas something it never was meant to be. So many people struggle this time of year. Let's let them! We need to give each other space to hurt and miss and grieve and deal with the pain of this world.

Then we need to REJOICE that ONE CAME to REDEEM and RESTORE and MAKE ALL THINGS NEW!!!

As parents of adopted kids that have hurt that comes out in ugly ways at times THE TRUTH of JESUS and His healing power are all we can point them to! We do lots of practical things to like trying to keep things simple and calm, taking lots of deep breaths, sensory play time and extra cuddles, lots of talking and empathy. But in the end, Jesus alone can heal those deep places of pain. His Peace alone can calm them. His redeeming grace is all that matters in the end.....which is why we celebrate Christmas in the first place!

So for that reason alone, this IS the most wonderful time of the year! A time to slow down and focus in on the reason for our JOY - joy that is beyond circumstances. Joy that comes because HE CAME! He came near, He took our guilt and shame and sin and made us new in HIM. We always have reason to rejoice!!!

(pics by @jillianchristinephoto)