Our own adoption...

These last few days we as a family have been reflecting a lot on our own adoption. Being in this process of adopting Kaylee Grace has really made our own adoption into our Father's family so tangible. Kaylee slept in our bed last night (she will probably sleep with us for a while - for as long as it takes for her to attach and feel safe- she just needs that constant security). She did great - she woke up a few times in the night - I could tell because she would pat and rub the covers over and over (self soothing). Each time I would start patting her little bottom, letting her know that she doesn't have to sooth herself anymore - that's our job now. So overwhelming to think that she has never had anyone to comfort her - and so sad to see her trying to comfort herself...but SO OVERWHELMING to think that the very One who created her RESCUED her, has now placed her in a family where she will be forever loved and forever taken care of --- a family who lives across the world from where she was born --- a family who was never even considering adoption. He opened our hearts and broke them for what breaks His Heart in order that this sweet child would have someone to love her and take care of her. So overwhelming. All night as I'd wake up with her I was just flooded with God's AMAZING love-  incomprehensible! I continually see the parallel with our own adoption -  we were once fatherless; sure, we had an earthly father...but not a Father who could Save and Rescue us from eternity spent in hell. At first, we didn't recognize our need (just as Kaylee doesn't recognize her need for a mommy and daddy and a family- she has only known life on her own). We were the same way - we thought we could do life on our own and didn't know that the Comfort and Peace of our Heavenly Father was SO MUCH MORE than we could have ever had on our own. I will never forget the time in my life where I finally learned the love of my Heavenly Father --- that He loved me so much that He sent His one and only Son to die for me - to die for my sins. When we got Kaylee yesterday she was just  filthy - poor little thing! I could tell she felt so much better to have had a real bath where she got fully clean! We were once filthy too - covered in our own sins - but when we accepted the love of our Heavenly Father and the gift of Salvation that Jesus alone brought through His death and resurrection - everything changed. He washed us clean - took our sins as far as the east is from the west... And we will never be the same! For Kaylee, everything has changed... she will never be the same! She will learn that she can actually just be a baby and she doesn't have to try and make sure her needs get met - everything will be taken care of for her as God has provided an earthly father and mother and family. One day she will have the opportunity to accept the love of her Heavenly Father as well...a Father who knit her together...a Father who has carried her since her birth. One who will never leave or forsake her. She will be introduced to His Son Jesus who died to make a way for her to live eternally with her Heavenly Father. Our #1 prayer is that she will accept this free gift of Salvation by making HIM the Lord and Master of her life. Scripture tells us that "if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord" and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved" Romans 10:9. Confessing Jesus is Lord means that we make Him to be in charge of our lives; our Master - we recognize that we can't do life on our own and we surrender to Him -we accept that He is the Way to eternal life, we accept that He is in control. We are praying that as Kaylee learns to accept our love that she will, in the very same way, one day accept His free gift of love and Salvation - for truly nothing else matters!!!

Sidenote*** Brodie got back from the paperwork meeting last night and I told him we needed to try to get some more liquids in her. He said he'd hold her while I used the syringe to get some juice/water in her. She was completely out and had been sleeping very soundly so we hated to wake her up but we knew she needed liquids (her diaper was still so dry). So he held her and I gently put the syringe to her lips - it barely even touched her and she clenched her jaw together and started pushing and squirming away - Brodie couldn't believe how STRONG she is! I'm telling you - it is crazy. He could barely hold her still! We got some down and she was fast asleep before we even sat on the bed with her. AND...her diaper is wet this morning! So that makes me feel much better!!!!! We are PRAISING HIM - FOR HE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH! It is 6:30 am here and she will be waking up soon - praying for a great day of her feeling loved and feeling safe enough eat!!!

Adoption Update!!!

This journey has been long and beautiful in every way. We wouldn't trade all that we have learned and all the ways that God has grown each one of us. It's been nearly a year and a half of waiting but we are finally matched with a precious little girl who is desperately in need of God's love and a family to hold her. Here is a copy of an email we sent out to friends/family earlier today...

We received a referral on Tuesday (11/6) of a 28-month precious little girl! Let me back up a few months - both Brodie and I have been feeling the Lord open our hearts to more difficult special needs. Constantly being reminded that our lives are not our own and that we are to count everything a loss compared to knowing Jesus.  The needs of this little girl were greater than we had originally felt comfortable with and as the social worker described her file to us over the phone, both Brodie and I felt excited but anxious. Her needs that are listed are, "polydactyly (extra thumb on each hand), strabismus (crossed/lazy eyes) and mild cerebral palsy". 

After our social worker read her file to us she explained that her greatest need is that she is coming from a welfare institution where the kids are severely neglected and malnourished. Never held. No toys at all. Only touch is an occasional diaper change. Even their bottles are propped up for feedings. ;(   I said to our social worker, "I know you pray over each child's file - what made you choose us for this little girl?" She said that she knew that this child was going to need extra love and compassion and she thought of our family, she felt that not many families would have the compassion it will take to love and nurture her little life. This immediately reminded me that this process is not about us or what we want or imagine- it's about a child that God is asking us to love; it's about His glory. Our lives are not our own.

We prayed before we looked at the file where we would first see her pictures. As Brodie prayed I sensed the Lord asking me in my spirit, "Will you be My Hands and Feet to her?" In my heart I said yes but was fearful. I asked the Lord for something - a birthdate that stuck out, a name, anything significant where we would know it was our daughter right away. We opened the file - nothing stood out. Her picture was so sad- she looked SO sad and hopeless. Our kids were 100% in from the second they saw her picture. I sat them down and explained what her needs may look like for our family- that just made them want to get her and love her more. 

Brodie and I processed and decided to have some doctors look at the file. The first Dr that got back to us was our friend - he mentioned the possibility of her symptoms being related to some type of syndrome. This took us a couple of steps back. The next Dr was even more concerned - very concerned. She said the chances were too great that these symptoms were related something life threatening down the road. She advised us not to move forward.  

We sat our kids down again - we explained in great detail what the doctors were concerned about. Again they were even more sure that we should go get her and love her. Kennady said, "Mom, we can't just leave her there! She could just die there - if we get her then at least we can tell her about Jesus and she will get to go to Heaven." (Whew! God's love is fierce! Just the thought that He would love this precious girl enough that He may call us to bring her into our home to love on and teach her about Jesus so that she can spend eternity with Him!)  The boys agreed. Brodie and I wrestled. On one hand we knew what we were to do - on the other we were so fearful of all the unknowns. It's so crazy because we went right into protective mode for our other 3 kids - like we wanted to protect them from the potential of such deep pain. Brodie wanted to protect me. We needed a clear Word! If He said Go, we would Go.

Yesterday we finally talked to a Dr who went to China to visit her in April (she lives in America and volunteers her time to go overseas and examine these children for our agency so that they can give us a more accurate report). She believes that she is developmentally so far behind due to her neglectful environment and lack of stimulation. She is the size of a 12 mo old and is 28 mo. They put her at 9 mo developmentally. She feels that this precious child will THRIVE when in a loving home!!! She feels that she did not see any indication of any type of syndrome. She said that on day 1 of her visit she was very concerned about this precious one - no eye contact, non-responsive, they got nothing out of her. Day 2 they went in and she smiled and made eye contact (this was HUGE progress and made her feel like this girl is so far behind because of environment and severe neglect). **Sidenote: It is such a praise that they went back the 2nd day - most of the time they only get 1 day to evaluate these little ones but in this rare case they were able to go back a 2nd day - which gave them a better chance to see each of the kids and what a difference 1 day made for most every one of them! This gave the doctors confidence that environment was a HUGE factor in why these kids were so delayed**  She is not even on the chart for height or weight BUT her head is on the chart and has tracked really well which leads this doctor to believe that her growth delays are due to malnutrition and what little nutrition she is getting is going to her brain. She feels that the cp diagnosis could very well be that she has spent 28 months in a crib and she may not even have it. She gave us a game plan for the first 3 months of having her home to begin to catch her up and felt really HOPEFUL and even SURE that she will start to blossom once she has love. 

All I can say is that we got off that call and both felt complete PEACE about going forward. Our fears turned to great excitement! We are realistically knowing that this will be a ton of work - our kids are fully aware of what this looks like and we all couldn't feel more ready to start being Jesus' Hands and Feet to her!!! For now we feel led to not even label her with ANYTHING (of course the doctors here will know all they need to from her medical file). But we're feeling led to just get her home and love on her and give her a chance to begin to be all that God created her to be with no labels.  If after being loved on for some time she still has symptoms then we know she will have wonderful care here at Children's Hospital and God will use all that He has chosen her to be for His glory! We just want to give her a chance and see what a difference LOVE makes - we are aware and prepared for what to be cautious about and whatever God has for this precious little one, we will trust Him and His great plan. He is good! 

So now we will submit our letter to adopt her and have a series of approvals to get through which will take about 3-4 months and then we get to go get her :) We will post pictures as soon as we receive "pre-approval" (which could take a few weeks since we have to officially finish transferring agencies).

We will spend the next few months preparing by studying more about attachment and bonding for these little ones who come from such extreme conditions. And we will continue to PRAY that the Holy Spirit will knit our hearts with hers so that she feels His love and peace right away when we hold her. We are trusting God for a miracle to bring wholeness in this child's life in every way!

Even after we sent this email out, another doctor called us who had reviewed her file and expressed his concerns for our family moving forward with this sweet one. For a moment fear tried to creep back in but right away we stood firm in the PEACE that THE GOD WHO CREATED HER gave us yesterday...His plans are always BEST - they may not look best or feel best...but they ARE best!!! Here is the verse that I am clinging to right now:

"The fruit of righteousness will be peace; 

the effect of righteousness will be quietness and assurance forever." 

Isaiah 32:17

A commentary from M. Henry on this verse said this: Quietness and assurance forever... that is, a holy serenity and security of mind, by which the soul enjoys itself and enjoys its God, and it is not in the power of this world to disturb it in those enjoyments.

In other words, when we have this holy serenity and security of mind that ONLY Jesus can give us, our soul is so at rest, so filled with enjoyment that even the worries of this world will not and cannot disturb the peace He fills our souls with when we rest in Him and follow His Way of Righteousness. 

We were able to experience this peace, this assurance today when the "power of this world" came to disturb our peace and assurance and that peace and assurance He has given us was so real and so true that although it stumbled for a moment, it was not disturbed. Thank You Jesus that You are far above the ways of this world - Your Ways are not our own!

Update ~ What We've Been Up To and Adoption

Whew ~ somehow time flies by so fast! Here's a bit of what we've been up to...

We had our last Lake Day before we pulled the boat out for the year :)

Sissy has been cheering and doing Volley Ball

Keeg started Cross County

Both of the boys started Flag Football which they of course LOVE!! Here is Kols with his friend from school

Sis and her friend, Emma, are making yummy eggs :)

Sis and Keeg got their braces OFF!!!

I went with Sissy and all the 6th Graders to Sonora!!!

Sis and Mia are getting ready to head out :)

All the girls in our group

And here we are with all the Moms

Being silly :)

Breakfast time!

Pancakes were their favorite breakfast ;)

So blessed to spend such quality time with Sis!

Here are the girls with their favorite teacher from the whole camp ;)

On the adoption front ~ we are still waiting :)  We have been told by Lifeline (our agency that we LOVE!) that the files from the Orphanage Partnership are slowly trickling in and we should know who our daughter is soon! We know that God has a great plan and we are excited to continue to see it unfold!!!

Adoption Update

We've had a full week on the adoption front...it all started with a dream that I had on Sunday night. I was in a room with a bunch of kids who all had the same shirts on. I realized that they were all orphans and in my dream I heard God say to me, "Will you take care of the least of these for Me? The very least of these... and show them My love." In my dream I said, "Yes, Lord, just show me what to do." Then I woke up.

The name on their shirts kept coming back to my mind all day the next day so I finally looked it up to see if it was a real organization - I had not heard of it before. Well, it is a real organization...and not only that, it is a home for special needs orphans in China! I was blown away so I called Brod and told him all about my dream. He looked it up and called. The most wonderful lady answered and was so helpful to him. From listening to where we were at in the process and how long we'd been waiting, she sensed that something was up and encouraged us to find out about a couple of things.

Well, our facilitator was going to be in town 2 days later and she agreed to meet with us regarding some of our concerns. This spurred our agency on to meet with us beforehand and let us know that they had recently found out that our agency had been on probation and unable to lock any children's files since around January. We were shocked! But immediately we knew and trusted that God was up to something and still ENTIRELY in control. So, we called the helpful lady back from the organization in my dream and asked her where she thought we should go from here. She had 3 GREAT (almost too great because it was hard to decide) agencies for us to look into. We loved them all but ultimately felt a bit more led to one so we switched today and we are really excited!!! We know and trust that God has a great plan...He has already chosen our daughter since before time began and nothing can stop His perfect plan from unfolding.

 I had a friend remind me of a book called When Life and Beliefs Collide which says, "If God is Sovereign, then plan B is a myth. No matter how dark things look to us, or how big the mess we're in, we're in plan A." (p.72)  "We run a planned race." (p. 70)  What a great reminder! Brodie and I were really praying through where the Lord was leading us and really wanting to hear clearly...and the reminder that we cannot mess up His plans no matter what we do came at just the right time! If we are seeking Him, He will honor that - He knows how we want what HE wants more than anything! It helped us to walk in the direction that we were most feeling led to and just
REST and TRUST in Him for the rest!

Things should be switched by next week and we will move forward from there!

"God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
thought its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells."

Psalm 46: 1-4

Waiting on The Lord

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him;
those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land." Psalm 37: 7,9


The other night we were saying our bedtime prayers and we always pray for Kaylee. Kolson had such a heartfelt prayer asking God to "bring Kaylee soon because it feels like we are not even going to get a baby anymore". I so understand his prayer. Our hearts long to have her home with us, to know who she is and have a date set to go and get her. But as adults, Brodie and I can understand and even appreciate that the process and journey are so important to having her here with us. We know that God has stripped so much from us and He has so much more to strip...we have grown so much in Him these last 9 months. And He continues to remind us that 9 months ago adoption was not even on our radar...so who are we to try and rush Him now. We trust in His timing and even more than I want to know who she is and have her home right away, I want HIS Will, HIS timing, HIS Way. But for a 7 year old that is so hard to understand.


Dear Jesus, I pray that You will strengthen all of our hearts as we wait. Please continue to make us more like You and less like ourselves. I ask that You will put Your love in our hearts, Your patience, Your desires. Lord, Your Word says that we are to lay down our lives in order to find true life in You. O, how I can see that we have lived life so much for ourselves and only You can work in us to live life all for You and those that You put in front of us. I confess we need You to do this in us! So as we wait, will You please help us to consider everything a loss compared to knowing You! 
Help us to love others with Your love!!!






I came across this devotional today from CBN.com

Waiting on God Patiently

By Andrew Murray

Andrew Murray (1828-1917), was born in Cape Town, South Africa and became a revered missionary leader in the late 1800s and early 1900s, promoting and establishing missions in South Africa. His devotional writings are considered classics of the Christian faith. This devotional is taken from Murray's series of writings titled, Waiting on God.


If we truly set ourselves to wait upon God, we shall find that it is with Him we are impatient, because He does not at once, or as soon as we could wish, do our bidding. It is in waiting upon God that our eyes are opened to believe in His wise and sovereign will, and to see that the sooner and the more completely we yield absolutely to it, the more surely His blessing can come to us. 


The waiting is to teach us our absolute dependence upon God’s mighty working, and to make us in perfect patience place ourselves at His disposal. They that wait on the Lord shall inherit the land; the promised land and its blessing. The heirs must wait; they can afford to wait.It is resting in the Lord, in His will, His promise, His faithfulness, and His love, that makes patience easy. 


And the resting in Him is nothing but being silent unto Him, still before Him. Having our thoughts and wishes, our fears and hopes, hushed into calm and quiet in that great peace of God which passeth all understanding.That peace keeps the heart and mind when we are anxious for anything, because we have made our request known to Him. The rest, the silence, the stillness, and the patient waiting, all find their strength and joy in God Himself.


“Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.”

Yes, for HIM. Seek not only the help, the gift, thou needest seek: HIMSELF; wait for HIM. Give God His glory by resting in Him, by trusting him fully, by waiting patiently for Him. This patience honours Him greatly; it leaves Him, as God on the throne, to do His work; it yields self wholly into His hands. It lets God be God.

If thy waiting be for some special request, wait patiently. If thy waiting be more the exercise of the spiritual life seeking to know and have more of God, wait patiently.

Whether it be in the shorter specific periods of waiting, or as the continuous habit of the souls. Rest in the Lord, be still before the Lord, and wait patiently. “They that wait on the Lord shall inherit the land."


Thank You, Jesus, for seasons of waiting. We PRAISE YOU for we know that You are at work even when we can't see You! It is when we can't see You that our faith is put into action. We trust You to bring us our Kaylee Grace in Your perfect timing. And we trust You to work so deeply in us in this process...that we will grow stronger in You, You will grow us to "consider our lives worth nothing if only we may finish the race and complete the task that You, Jesus, have given us - the task of testifying to the Gospel of Your Grace!"(Acts 20:24) I know that at the beginning of this journey when we first felt You call us I felt You say that through this process You would bring freedom and faith through it and I trust You for that. Thank You, Jesus..."for You who call us are FAITHFUL and You will do it"!!!!! (1Thes 5:24)

We are ALL Adopted!

"For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will - to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves." Ephesians 1:4-6

As Christ followers, God has adopted us as HIS children! Watch

this amazing video that reminds us of all that Jesus has done for us...

Thank You, Jesus, for loving us enough to die for our sins and redeem us and forgive us. Through You we are adopted as God's children and given eternal life! We praise You that You are the Father to the fatherless and You hold each orphan in Your Hand; just as You hold each one of us. Thank You, Jesus!

~