Kaylee Grace has been home 18 months now! It really does feel to me like we've had her forever. And I can only stand in awe of Jesus and how He alone has healed her. The other day a friend of ours (who is a brilliant doctor in town but not a Christian) mentioned how far she has come and was astonished. He was one of the two doctors who saw her file before we accepted it and strongly urged us not to accept it (Praise Jesus that He astounds the wise - "But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise....so that no one may boast before Him." 1 Cor 1:27, 29. And we Praise Him that He is bigger that any earthly medical opinion....what a BLESSING we would have missed!)
Anyway, he really couldn't believe how far she has come and was telling us over and over how great a job we have done. Ha! Brod and I just started to laugh. Like really loud belly laughing....because we KNOW it WAS NOT US....like not even a little tiny bit us. All we did was say yes. We accepted His invitation to see His glory in this way....which meant that we accepted His invitation to be His Hands and Feet and walk into the darkness that Kaylee Grace was in.....and in our case, it has meant that we have stayed in that darkness far longer than we would have ever wished to or ever imagined that we would have. I mean, we knew it wouldn't be easy....but we never could have imagined all the pain, all the fear, all the anger, all the trauma....and we never would have imagined what that would look like to WALK THROUGH with her on a daily basis.
I have learned more about Jesus' Love in the last 18 months than in my whole life. It is deep and fierce and steady and NEVER GIVES UP! It never ever runs out. Mine does. Like every other day. And if I don't sit with Him and abide DEEPLY in Him and His Word then I literally have nothing to give and I only cause more harm and pain. But when I sit with Him, and DENY myself and lay aside my life....just as His Word promises, I find True Life...HIS LIFE...I can literally feel Him and His Love flowing through me...and so can Kaylee Grace. She doesn't know it's Him yet ~ I mean, I tell her all the time that it is Jesus alone who helps us to feel better. And she has seen it for herself.....time and time again when she gets so far beyond herself in anger and rage that we can't gain control and we pray and speak the Name of Jesus and sing praises to Him, His PEACE comes....and she notices, because HE is the ONLY thing that calms her down.
"See how Jesus helps us?" I ask her. And she does...and one day she will put it all together....she will know how He held her in China, and how He called a mommy and a daddy to come rescue her so that she could be Rescued for all eternity by calling on His Name, and she will remember how He helped her to heal in the deep places where mommy and daddy couldn't even see and she will KNOW that He alone can SAVE and HEAL and REDEEM.
And not only will I have found TRUE LIFE by laying aside my life in these days of walking through the darkness with her to help heal the pain, but SHE will know TRUE LIFE. Life that not only is abundant now, but ETERNAL. Oh what an AMAZING GOD we serve!!! A God who RESCUES...so He asks us to GO....to be His Hands and Feet so that HE can Rescue one more....to GO into pain, into darkness, into trauma, and bring that pain and darkness and trauma right into our neat and clean homes...our lives that really needed some messing up so that we could be more like HIM and less like ourselves....and then He asks us to lay aside our lives so that HIS Life can flow through us... through the gift of His Holy Spirit ~ because He knows that ONLY His Love is Eternal! And His Love never fails....His Love heals, and Saves...and I'm so thankful that He has invited us on this journey of Him healing and Saving Kaylee Grace!!!
